no news

It's killing me not to know. I know we are supposed to be moving around next summer 2009. It would just be nice to no where. I'm not saying this to complain, I'm just going a little stir crazy stuck right here with no news on where we will go. On the other hand it's kind of fun not knowing. Sometimes when I am driving to or from work I imagine what it will be like when we pack up and we are in the car going to our next base. It probably won't be rushed. They usually give people plenty of days to travel when needed. It will just be us. Us and the cats. I'm so looking forward to it and I never thought I'd say that. Three years ago you couldn't have paid me enough money to leave Montana. That was before I met Jay, married into the air force, traveled to Virginia, North Carolina, Washington, DC, and many other places, and realized there is so much more to this world and I want to see it all! No matter where we go we will have eachother and God, and that is all we really need. A Dairy Queen wouldn't hurt though... We are 'supposed' to find out sometime between October and January. Wish us luck!

24 hour roller coaster

So many things have happened in the past 24 hours that have messed with my emotions. Some of the things are things I shouldn't let bother me. I just need to talk these things out, even if no one reads them...here goes.

1) Last night I found out that yet two MORE people I know are pregnant, in addition to the other billion (it seems) people I already knew who are expecting. I know I only have to wait until late March until I can have my shot at a pregnancy...partly for a medical reason and the timing would be good because Jay gets back from tech school in late March. If I got pregnant now, he would be gone when I'd have a baby. I am soo happy for all my friends who are pregnant, it's just hard for me to know that I have to wait a little longer. It's like if I hadn't gone to college, I wouldn't have any debt, and I could have a baby any time I felt like it and not have to worry about too many bills, like my college loan. At the same time though, I wouldn't have done it any other way. I love my job, which I wouldn't have had I not gone to college, and I wouldn't have the lifestyle I have today.

2) Our friend leaves for Iraq this week. He told me in detail about things that are currently going on in Iraq and Afghanistan. After saying goodbye to him, and remembering that other friends of ours are over there, I was left with a feeling of dismay. It scares me, but I know it's necessary, and I know they signed up for it. I just hope my husband won't have to go again. I know it's probably not going to happen that way, but there's not harm in wishing away the inevitable...

3) Today at work I had a great day, for the most part. Then the end came. I was informed by my boss that instead of assisting chairside with my normal Dr, I would now be assisting him. Whose great idea was this? OK, ok. I know it's also a necessary thing, I'm just a little defiant when it comes to change I guess. Maybe a lot more defiant than I remember... After giving it some thought, and with some encouragement from a few awesome coworkers, I decided that although it will be challenging it doesn't mean I shouldn't try. It just means I should try...harder.

4) Still no news....but that's to be expected as far as PCSing goes. I've come a long way from 'not wanting to ever leave my home' to where I am now which is totally willing to move anywhere to be with my love. I didn't say it would be easy. I'm just the kind of person that likes to have a plan. I'd like to know where we are going before we start packing. I know we are 'scheduled' to find out most likely between October and January. We will be moving around next summer. I guess that's enough of a heads up. I just go back and forth with whether or not I think I can handle a move, emotionally. I think I'll be fine though. I'll just have to find a lot of things to do and see that will keep my mind busy so I won't think about home.

5) I got back in touch with an old friend yesterday. Our friendship ended a little rocky, thanks to...both of us I think. I'm just blessed to have her back in my life!!

The end! I feel better already.

It's nice not to worry.

Lately I've seen how much some people worry. It makes me kinda sad, because I used to worry all day every day and I know how it used to eat away at me. Recently I've started to realize how good we have it. It hasn't always been this way, we had to work hard to get here, and I just feel so blessed to finally be at peace with my life. We don't have to worry about where we live, buying groceries, etc. We have a safe and roomy place to live and vehicles that run great. We don't have to worry about relationships with family or friends, or about someone back in VA getting sick or something happening and not being able to fly there on the drop of a dime. Jay no longer posts to the missile field (for about 4-5 months now) so I am lucky to not have to worry about him like I did for our first two years together, and he is home every night and weekend with me. I guess I'm just now able to relax and realize how happy I truly am and it's great. We even have great friends to top it off-Zach & Sue, Dave & Stephanie, Jeromy & Pam, and many more, you know who you are-you are all the best!!!

"Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life?"

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

~Matthew 6:27, 34

recently...

(Just an FYI-this is the same blog from my myspace, but I'm posting it here as well for my friends that don't have myspace.)

As life goes on, things change. I used to be very awful to deal with when it came to things changing, but in recent years I've somehow with the help of my husband learned to deal with things a lot better. Being mad about things doesn't get you far, and as my dad has always said, "You'll get happy in the same pants you get mad in." Jay has helped tremendoulsy with getting me to see the positive side of things. Everyone should get a chance in life to live with someone who DOES NOT get in bad moods, period, no matter what. Jay might get mad for a couple minutes, but his actual mood never changes. He doesn't get crabby, it's a very odd thing for me especially since I was raised by my mom who taught me to believe that even the littlest thing can ruin your day. I've been striving to be more like him because he doesn't deserve to have to deal with bad moods since he doesn't put anyone else through them. I'll be the first to admit that I have my mood swings, but I'm working on it.

So now for the juicy details...well some of them are still a little up in the air I guess, but I thought I might let you all in on what may be stirring up for the near future!

Jay has many goals and aspirations, one of which has always been to be a canine cop. He applied for a job as a military working dog handler, which he has been officially accepted for as of a couple days ago. The air force is currently short-handed in this field, therefore they have offered 'base-of-preference' to anyone who gets accepted. Jay will have to go back to tech school for 3 months in Texas to train for his new job, then shortly after he returns we will be moving to one of our preferred bases, which are top secret . I don't know which one we are going to yet, but I'll inform everyone as soon as we find out. He is currently scheduled to leave for tech school in January, but that could change at any. He could leave as early as July 1, 2008 for his 3 month retrain.

Wait, there's more. No, I'm not pregnant so don't get excited. The reason for that is this little hinderance called my student loan that isn't quite paid off. When we do have a baby, I want to be able to not work at least for the first few months, hopefully longer, but that won't be possible until my student loan is paid off. So...I finally got serious about paying it off and I got a second job. The money from that goes into a separate account just to pay off college stuff. Pretty handy, huh? So Jay is scheduled to get done with tech school around March at the latest, and if college is paid off by then (or next spring, whichever comes later), we will start trying for a baby around that time! I'm very excited to at least have some type of timeframe in sight, and it will encourage me to work more, shop less, and pay off college faster. I wish I could just push a button and my loan would be gone, but I know I have to work for this goal, just like all my other ones. Thanks to some scholarships I earned, I don't owe nearly as much as I could've owed. I'm very glad I went to college to be a dental assistant though, because I love my job-therefore, it's worth every penny and I've never regretted doing it.

So long story short, I'm working my rear end off, we are probably moving sometime around next summer (2009), and I can't wait to have a baby someday! I just want to not be stressed about money when the time comes so I can relax and enjoy being a parent. Plus I'm very interesting in finding out where we are going to move to, and what it will be like. I will miss my family and friends here, but I am excited for somewhere new. We will definitely be back to visit.

once upon a time...

After just breaking off an engagement, I had decided I was better off single. Sometimes it seems like just when you have things all figured out, God has something else in mind...and it's always something better. Then there came this thing called Myspace. It was neat, despite the creepy guys that would track me down and ask if we could meet. I would always decline and block them. Then one day I got a message from a southern boy. He was new to town and was wondering if I knew of a good church in town since he saw that I attended one. I figured God would be pretty upset if I let this one slide by, so of course I replied. We spent more than 15 hours total just talking online, and getting to know each other as friends. We had a lot in common. I had decided I wasn't jumping into another relationship any time soon, so when he wanted to meet me, I saw no reason not to. We met at Hastings-a public place just to be safe. It was May 8, 2006. He was a sweet southern boy. Very polite and such a gentleman. An only child, but not spoiled. I quickly fell in love with him, even though I had already decided against it. We went to church together for the first time on May 14, 2006. I decided I still wasn't ready for a serious relationship, so we held off seeing each other for a few weeks. We next hung out again on June 7, 2006. We were officially dating by the end of June. He asked me to marry him on July 7, 2006. We went through premarital counseling (which, for those who haven't gone through it, makes you more sure of whether or not you should marry the other person). My dad was upset at the fact of me even dating again at that time (I was 20.) We hadn't set a date, we just decided that whenever we got finished with the counseling, we would get married right after that.

As it got closer we had decided September 16th, 2006 would be the right time. We both informed our parents. His were ecstatic. They immediately bought plane tickets from Virginia to Montana. Mine on the other hand were furious. My dad, to whom before this conversation had always viewed me as his straight-A, perfect, only daughter who could never do anything wrong, blew up at me. He told me that I shouldn't be thinking about marriage, I should be going to college AGAIN because he said I would never be rich as a dental assistant. Money means a lot to that man. He had met Jay several times, yet failed to give him the time of day or even try to get to know him. He knew the date, the time, the location, yet he didn't show up that day. It was the best day of my life, yet somewhat bittersweet. I was stunned that he didn't show, and I still am to this day.

We didn't talk for months. Then one day around Valentine's Day he decided he had been a jerk long enough, and he called me to apologize. He wanted to made amends. Funny how when I was about to marry the wrong person he was all for it, but now that I knew what I wanted, it wasn't okay. A few months later we had a reception for everyone to celebrate our wedding. It was a good time, I guess.

The past year and a half ago has been the best time of my life. We have a marriage like no other, and unbreakable trust which not many can claim. I am so blessed and could not ask for a better man to share the rest of my life with. I am so excited for our future together-children, vacations, times with family, etc. Who knows where the USAF will take us, but at this point, we've found out who our real friends/family are. If we have each other, that's all we will need-no matter where life takes us.

Freak of nature?

This may be true. In the past couple years I've noticed so many things that make me sooo much different from the rest of the world. Food is a big one, likes, dislikes, etc. Here is a prime example: I can't STAND warm chocolate chip cookies or brownies just out of the oven. I would much rather wait until they have sat around and gotten a little bit more chewy or crunchy. I don't like a lot of things that most people love, like hot fudge on my ice cream, a random plain 'ol Hershey bar, white chocolate, chocolate mixed with mint or berries, cherry flavored anything, seafood in general, and Mountain Dew for crying out loud.
In addition, I have plenty of other quirks and I'm starting to wonder if I'm the only one. Am I the only one whose world ends if they step in water with socks on? Am I the only one who HAS to put their left sock on first, or else? It seems like it's everyone's favorite color, but I really don't care for the color red, although I'm warming up to it. I cannot go to bed if there are dishes sitting in the sink. I absolutely have to have either a bowl of cereal or a bowl of ice cream before I go to bed at night-really healthy I know. I wonder....

No good excuse.

Lately I've been trying to put things into perspective. I tend to overlook and underthink some things in life and that needs to change. It's so easy to just go on with life and not think about the things I should change, when really they are so simple. For example, I went out tonight to buy some things to put together a couple Easter baskets so that our church can take them to people at the rescue mission here in town. As I walked the aisles and looked at all the things I would love to buy for people I wanted to buy everything I saw. Then came the money part. Then I backed off a little, but WHY? I have no good excuse. Then I thought of the rediculous amounts of money I spend on other things...my car, clothes, internet, phones, etc. At that point I decided I was going to buy whatever I thought would be nice for the people I had chosen to buy for, which happened to be a woman and a young boy. I really tried to think of things that might light up their faces, and it felt really good. It made me want to help out like this more often than we do, which is usually around Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. There are people in need all year that are far less fortunate than the majority of us, and I should help out more since I have the opportunity.

"Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Cor. 9:7

I suppose that would be my lesson to myself for today...